Posts Tagged ‘Relationship’

Infidelity: Signs, Causes, and Coping

Friday, 20 January 2012 11:54 Written by Lasandra 0 Comments

Infidelity. The word alone can strike fear into the heart of any person in a committed relationship. The very thought of your partner being intimately involved with another individual can send shock-waves. The reality is even more devastating. It undermines the foundation of the relationship, but that doesn’t mean it has to end it.

There are signs to look for that can help identify problems in the marriage before resulting in infidelity. The key is to address them directly in order to save your relationship. If your partner says things like, “I’m not happy”, “This isn’t working” or “I wish things were like they used to be” he or she may be crying out for help. It’s important to acknowledge that cry and seek professional assistance. An objective, nonjudgmental third party can help guide things down a path of recovery. Sneaking around, a history of cheating, and sudden unexplained interest in personal appearance may also be red flags. Again, it’s important to address these signs head-on.

Maybe your situation has already moved beyond warning signs and the infidelity became a reality. You may be wondering why your partner cheated or how to move on from here. The reasons can be as varied as the individuals involved, but there is some evidence to suggest men typically cheat for sexual reasons while women cheat for emotional reasons. With that said – the opposite can also be true (men cheat for emotional reasons and women for sexual). However, knowing the reason probably won’t provide much comfort. If both parties are committed to saving the relationship it can become stronger than before. It may take a lot of time, space, and professional help to repair the trust that was broken, but take hope in knowing that it can be done.

Communication is Key

Wednesday, 18 January 2012 11:34 Written by Lasandra 0 Comments

You’ve heard it said before that communication is the key to any good relationship. But have you ever really stopped to think about just how multifaceted communication is? More than half of our daily communication is non-verbal. That includes everything from tone, facial expressions, and even our moments of silence in conversation. Take a look at the picture to the left. What does the woman’s body language seem to be saying? How about the distance between them on the couch? It’s impossible to know exactly what she’s thinking or feeling without being in the room, but the truth is sometimes even when you’re in the same room as your partner it can be challenging to understand and communicate effectively.

Communication styles are, in part, learned behaviors. For example, an individual who grows up in a very stoic household may have a difficult time as an adult being open about his or her feelings and emotions because they were viewed early on as a sign of weakness and because there was not an early example of how to do so. If this individual marries someone who craves sharing feelings and experiences openly and routinely there can be challenges.

Fortunately, couples can work towards understanding their individual communication styles and needs and those of their partner’s. Through that process they can begin to adapt when necessary. Perhaps you and your partner have different concepts of what it means to “respectfully communicate” – one may view a raised tone in an argument as threatening or disrespectful while the other views it as being passionate about the topic at hand. Taking the time to really understand how your partner communicates can help you to understand how best to communicate with them.

The quantity and quality of your communication can also have ups and downs during the course of your relationship. It’s important to invest in each other and make it a priority to talk and listen. Beginning the process of truly exploring how to effectively communicate with your partner now can help lay the foundation for a healthy marriage.

Photo Credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1499

Planning A Marriage (Not Just A Wedding)

Thursday, 22 December 2011 18:03 Written by Lasandra 0 Comments

With half of all marriages ending in divorce it’s important to do everything you can to create a solid foundation in your relationship. Fortunately, you can begin this prep work before you even say “I do.” Premarital counseling is an opportunity for you and your partner to dialogue openly with some guidance from a professional. It can help identify areas of weakness before they become major issues in the marriage. Ultimately, it can strengthen your overall relationship.

Because we feel so strongly about the importance of premarital counseling we are going to begin a series devoted towards it. Each week we will highlight a major topic typically discussed in a counseling session. Each are vital domains in a marriage. Be sure to check back next week as we discuss our first topic: Money.