Tag: Conflict

Elder Care Mediators

As previously discussed caring for an elderly parent is a challenging job and often comes with family strife.  Conflict between siblings may stem from feuds or roles that are decades old. Or perhaps the conflict may simply be a result of family members facing so many emotionally charged decisions about a person they love.  Whether it’s deciding when to take the keys, move a parent into a facility, or how to manage finances – tension is likely for many.
But how do you know when the tension is too much? And if it is, what do you do about it?  If you feel like you have tried everything, but just can’t seem to come to an agreement on things perhaps it is time to call a mediator.  Professional mediators are trained in conflict resolution and act as a neutral party to help facilitate the decision making process.  They are available to hear all sides of the story and help diffuse the situation.  Mediation is typically cheaper than litigation so it is often a favorable choice.  Ideally, a mediator will help reduce the overall tension and keep the family focused on the goal of doing what is in the best interest of their loved one.
If family relationships feel like they are on the brink of destruction it may be time to consider a mediator.  It just may benefit everyone involved.
Photo Credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2664

3 Tips for Managing Family Conflict While Caring for an Elderly Relative

As noted previously, caring for an elderly family member can be incredibly stressful.  Often times family conflict arises as a result of the physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual challenges family members face – both individually and collectively.  If the conflict gets out of hand an objective third party mediator may be necessary.  However, there are steps individuals can take to manage the family conflict before rising to that level of need.  Here are a few tips to try to keep in mind as you navigate the process:
1.  Listen.  Truly, honestly listen.  Let family members know you are hearing what they say and are trying to understand their point of view.
2.  Respect.  Remember that emotions are running high for everyone.  Feelings of anger, guilt, hurt, fear, confusion, etc. are likely at the root of what different family members are saying and doing.  With this in mind it may be easier to show some restraint and some respect for others which can ultimately help to diffuse the situation.
3.  Communicate.  Share your feelings openly.  Revisit them when necessary.  As situations change family members need to come together and communicate new problems or decisions.  Break them down piece by piece so that everyone can understand what is at stake.  Refer back to tips 1 and 2 when needed.
No matter what stage of caring for an elderly relative a family is currently in it’s important to remember it doesn’t always have to come down to “my way” or “your way.”  Sometimes middle ground can be found when actively working towards managing conflict and working together.
Photo Credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2664

Resolving Conflict in Your Marriage

If you’ve been with your partner for any length of time chances are you’ve had your fair share of disagreements.  Conflict is inevitable in any marriage.  The important thing is knowing how to handle the conflict when it comes up.  Below are just a few tools you can use in your marriage to improve healthy conflict resolution skills.
1.  Remember that the goal is resolution – not to hurt each other. With that in mind it’s important to avoid name calling or personal character attacks.  If the argument moves in that direction you or your partner will quickly become defensive and it will no longer be about the discussion at hand.
2.  Watch your words. Remember that “I” statements are often better received than “you” statements.  For example, stating “I feel hurt when we don’t spend time together” versus “You never spend any time with me.”  You statements are very accusing and will again put your partner on the defense.  Your partner is not a mind-reader so you’ll need to clue them in to your feelings anyway.   Also, it’s best to avoid words like “always” and “never.”  Keep the discussion current by talking about whatever the particular issue at hand is.  Avoid throwing in old issues.
3.  Maintain an open mind. Ultimately, it’s not about “your way” versus “my way.”  It’s about finding “our way.”  Reaching an agreement together requires both parties to be fully committed to keeping an open mind and be willing to compromise.  That means both need to participate in the discussion with full attention.  Put down the remote or turn off the cell phone if it’s an important issue.  Be an active listener and take the time to try and understand your partner’s point of view.

Photo Credit: David Castillo Dominici  http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=3062

hope & restorationWhen the dark clouds of life roll in and settle over you, it’s important to have someone who can help you tap into your inner strength so that you can survive the storm.  At The Empowerment Group, that’s exactly what we do. We welcome you to explore the possibilities that are available to you. Restore a sense of balance and direction to your life. Whether through therapy, through Family Mediation, or through relationship counseling, we can help you find a path toward resolution and relief. Empowering your life! The Empowerment Group wants to help you bring balance, peace and happiness to your life even when the storms roll in and you feel all hope is gone. We can help:
  • Mediation
  • Therapy
  • Relationships
  • Pre-Marital Counseling



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