Deciding to get married is one of the biggest decisions a person can make. Congratulations for making it! Marriage is life changing and demands a lot of attention and hard work. Premarital counseling is an opportunity for couples to get a head start on the work ahead of them. The goal is to decide if engagement is a good choice, inform couples about the realities of married life, teach communication and conflict resolution skills, and establish mutual goals. (www.findcounseling.com/glossary/prenatal-counseling.htm) Think of it as an opportunity to openly and honestly discuss issues, feelings, and baggage (we all have it!). Counseling should cover these specific areas: compatibility, expectations, personalities, origins of families, communication, conflict resolution, intimacy and sexuality, and long-term goals. A variety of quizzes and assessment tools will be used to open the dialogue in areas such as interests and activities, role expectations, personal adjustment, interpersonal communication, religion and philosophy, marriage expectations, family issues, finances, children (and parenting), and sexuality. Chances are you and your fiancé have different views about things in one or more of these areas. That’s to be expected. The key is to identify and communicate these differences beforehand.
Still trying to decide if premarital counseling is for you? It’s for the young and never married, those afraid of commitment, couples that disagree on important issues (i.e. sex, work, money, parenting, religion), individuals with previously failed marriages, those who have difficulty handling conflicts, and people with a history of childhood or domestic abuse. That just about covers everyone!
Still not entirely convinced? Think about this. Research shows premarital counseling reduces the incidence of divorce by 30%. (www.mamashealth.com/wedding/counsel) Why not work to strengthen your marriage before it even starts!
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