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A primary focus for family therapy is to help families resolve conflict. The key to resolving is good communication.  Often, people in conflict have a fight-or-flight or avoiding-or-attacking strategy. Neither of these strategies promotes good communication.  Use of these strategies makes it difficult to achieve conflict resolution in the family unit.

To resolve conflict requires that all family members be willing to listen and be open to finding solutions that will work for everyone. In families, this is particularly difficult because children and parents may have different goals and may value different things.  Regardless, most conflicts can be resolved.

This is a topic that can be discussed at great length. However, for the purposes of this article, listed below are a few thoughts to help you manage conflict:

1. State the Problem- the real problem.  It may not be your teenager missing curfew that really upsets you.  It may be that you feel disrespected and stressed when your child is not home on time.
2. Who is a part of the conflict?  When possible, bring all the parties to the table to discuss the issues.
3. Examine the similarities and differences about the issue.  This will begin to set the stage for resolution
4. Brainstorm then rank possible solutions
5. Get buy-in from all parties for the agreed upon solution
6. Evaluate the success of the solution.  If the solution is not working, you may have to go back to the drawing board but at least the family is working as a team to solve their issues. Also, this approach lets your children know that you value their opinion and you are serious about having a good relationship.

These steps may seem difficult at first but they can lead to the successful resolution of your families’ problems. For more information on successfully handling conflict contact llmempowermentgroup.com.

Blended Families

Because divorce touches the lives of many family members today, efforts to understand the dynamics and impact of divorce have flourished.  Most traditional studies of divorce, for example, have emphasized the difficulties and problems that face the divorcing families, especially the children in those families.  As divorce rates have increased, remarriage rates and the number of people living in step families or blended families has increased as well. Even given the numbers of people living in blended families, many stereotypes persist.  One example might be the perception of the ‘wicked stepmother’ and the poorly treated step children (Cinderella complex).  In order for blended families to be successful they must have the following characteristics:

1. Realistic expectations of the new family
2. The ability to the mourn the loss of the original family unit
3. The remarried couple must have a strong relationship
4. New and satisfying rituals and traditions must be formed
5. The separate households must cooperate

Blended families can and often are very successful.  For more information on this topic please contact llmempowermentgroup.com

References: Conflict Resolution  by Allan Edward Barsky